What could have been
by 3lys3
Summary: Tenzin and Lin's thoughts after they discover the new airbenders at the beginning of season 3.
1. Chapter 1

Note:

This is the first work that I publish, bear with me. I am not completely happy with it, but I suppose I needed to publish it at one point. Any comments and suggestions (on content and spelling) are appreciated! English is not my first language.

Disclaimer: Both Lin Beifong and Tenzin are characters created and owned by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko, and I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of the Legend of Korra.

Tenzin was in his bedroom, preparing his stuff for his tour of the world, to find the new airbenders that Avatar Korra had brought back with the Harmonic Convergence. His wife was helping him silently. With four children on the Air Temple Island, they never declined some silent time in peaceful companionship. Meditation could only do so much.

It had been a long time that he didn't feel such a pure and powerful joy. He could not stop smiling against himself, with Pema the only witness.

Finally, the world was going back into balance. These new airbenders would revive their culture and history and the Air Nation was finally, truly reborn. This was the new Age that his father wanted and longed for, as the Avatar and as the last airbender. Tenzin also wanted that as his only son and as heir of the Air Nation culture.

He knew the future would have its challenges for his children, especially for Jinora, with or without the new airbenders as they would have to be the next leaders of the Air Nation. But the Harmonic Convergence was definitely a miracle for the Air Nation and the world. He would help rebuild his nation, with the support of his loving family.

After packing the few clothes he had, Tenzin went back to the kitchen, making some tea for Pema and him. This evening would be the last meal he would eat with the whole family.

Jinora was coming with him, but his younger children would be better staying with his wife. It was his duty to look for the new airbenders. But it did not overshadow his duties as a father. He wanted to spend as much time with his family as possible before leaving them.

Filling both his and Pema's cup, they drank in companionable silence. Tenzin glanced at his wife who was smiling back at him knowingly, understanding him without him needing to express his joy to her. Nobody else knew him as well as her. Nobody, except… No, now was the time to concentrate on his family and the future airbenders. The past was completely over. Another chapter of his life yet began, with the Harmonic Convergence disrupting his life in a wonderful way.

Pema had also been delighted to see the new airbenders popping out of every nation. The Acolytes were helping Tenzin and his family and they would finally be able to share what they had learnt to the lucky new airbenders. She had confessed to Tenzin that she wished she could have been chosen, but she was happy being Tenzin's wife and a mother to 4 wonderful airbenders.

Pema finished her tea before him, and after giving a final peck on his cheek, she went to see the other Air Acolytes, asking them to prepare some additional provisions for Tenzin, Korra and all those who would accompany them.

While sipping the last of his own tea, Tenzin looked out of the window, and saw the sky bisons in the stables, the parents helping the babies fly. The smallest ones were barely standing and walking and they already wanted to fly. The parents were bumping them with their nose and groaning in encouragement. This simple view made him burst with happiness and hope. The temples would be filled again, the sky bisons would all have best friends again! And finally, his father would be proud of him.

Tenzin rinsed the empty tea cups then went to the stables with a basket of fruits that he had gathered in the kitchen and called Oogie. He always made a point of feeding Oogie by himself when he could. When his best friend arrived, soaring from the sky and landing in front of him, Tenzin was reminded once again of the feeling of loneliness he had years ago, after his father passed away and before his own children were born. He had been the last airbender alive and the only true companion that stayed all along was Oogie. He had pushed Lin away, but Lin had done the same. Pema came into his life, but in the end, Oogie was the constant in his life.

Tenzin caressed him fondly while feeding him. When Oogie ate his fill, his master lingered a bit more, touching their forehead together. Air Acolytes could often see him do that, as if he wanted to share his feelings with his best friend. They would think that Tenzin was telling Oogie that all his mates would also have best friends now.

But this time, he wanted Oogie to calm him and reassure him that his mixed feelings about this whole affair were normal. Tenzin sighed internally. He had always been a bad liar, even to Oogie and to himself. Indeed, his mind could not stop going back to his family, and his place in all of this, and worst of all, to Lin.

He should feel blessed. Tenzin couldn't believe it that his older brother of all people got airbending abilities. Certainly, his father would be proud of his oldest son for finally being an airbender. He did not want to go into the territory of thinking of how flawed Aang had been as a father, dismissing his elder children to concentrate on Tenzin's education. And yet, Tenzin still felt a pang of jalousy toward Bumi. In a way, Tenzin would not be special anymore among the three children of the Avatar, even if he was the true descendant of the air nation heritage. Tenzin squashed that feeling for now. He should be glad that another member of his family became an airbender.

And then, against his will, his thoughts turned to Lin. Tenzin swallowed, trying to remove a lump in his throat. Oogie bumped him in response, to remind him that he was there to support him. Of course he was glad of having Pema in his life. Without her, he would not have his lovely, amazing children.

But when he fully realized the implications of the apparition of the new airbenders, he immediately wondered what Lin would think of Bumi being able to airbend, of him being finally able to follow his destiny. Not Pema.

His main reason to break up with his first love was finally coming to fruition. She had not wanted to be his children's mother and to help him rebuild the Air Nation. He had to fulfill his responsibility toward the world. So they broke up.

The Harmonic Convergence was helping him a great deal with his lifelong duty. And yet, he still felt bitter and sorrowful, thinking of what his life could have been if he had had a choice, all those years ago.

If only he had known decades ago that new airbenders would come to the world, albeit not in the form of his descendants, as he thought it would. If only he did not have the pressure from the world, and worst of all, from his father, to carry on the airbending lineage. He would have been able to stay with Lin, even without any children, and still love her publicly. He would not have Pema, but he would have Lin. His children would not be here, but maybe, he would still have some with Lin after a few years, and it would have not mattered if they were earthbenders, the Air Nation would still revive.

But then he felt guilty, like he often did when Lin crept into his mind, even if his thoughts were not inappropriate.

Actually, since the discovery of the new airbenders, wistful thoughts of Lin were flooding him. It had not even been two days since their apparition, but it felt like a lifetime ago. A part of his heart was regretting leaving Lin and it was getting harder and harder to dismiss it. He thought that he was finally over her, but it was clearly a lie he was telling himself.

He missed her so much.

He was her airbender, and now there were so many.

He was getting closer to fulfilling his father's greatest wish (and not even being the one who revived the Air Nation - this was all thanks to Avatar Korra) and yet, he felt emptier than ever.

Pema and his dear, dear children were now his life, but a part of him had been removed when Lin and him split up.

But Lin and him was a thing of the past. Tenzin only realized that he had said that out loud when Oogie roared as if he agreed with him. Tenzin sighed, patted Oogie one last time before he flew to the airship, and straightened his back, going back to the house to meet Pema and take the supplies from her.

The Air Nation was his future, the only future he had to think of.

The only one he wanted and had always wanted, he convinced himself once more.


	2. Chapter 2

After a long day crossing the city in search of what looked like new Airbenders, Lin went back to her appartment. She longed for some hot tea, changing into more comfortable clothes and getting to bed. This day had been one of her weirdest day at work. It was tiring, not because of criminals to catch for once. Nor was it because of the vines that were infesting the city and that she could not do much about, except reassuring the inhabitants again and again that the Avatar was working on it. It was the panicking new airbenders that could not control their powers. The police station had gotten frantic calls from everywhere in the city about them. Even if airbending was mistakenly considered the less dangerous bending because of the peaceful nature of their master, a sudden airbending move coming from nowhere still could do some grevious damage.

Lin was so exhausted that she dumped on her dining table the box of dumplings that came from the shop near her appartment and were already cold. She went quickly to her bedroom to change into a more comfortable outfit. But she almost teared apart her metal uniform. It only increased her anger at seeing how she could not even control her bending.

She was furious, not at the Avatar, but at herself. Well, perhaps also at the Avatar, even if she knew that she wasn't doing anything wrong. Not when she was trying to remove the spirit vines, and even less when she opened a new portal, bringing back the Airbenders.

She was furious and ashamed of herself because she should feel happy, but she did not.

Irritated at her mind swirling with contradictory emotions, she went to the kitchen and mechanically put some water to boil, took a cup from the top cupboard in her kitchen, filled it with tea, before going back to her dining table. Eating her cold dumplings one by one, she was left alone with her thoughts for the first time during this busy day.

Lin had often been called a lonely bitter woman. Maybe she was. When she had first realized that it was thanks to Korra that there were new airbenders, she had first been happy, more for Tenzin than for the Air Nation. She knew that it was a dream come true for him. His whole life had been around keeping the Air Nation heritage and history remembered and transmitted to the next generation. Its revival like that was a heaven-sent gift and he would surely cherish it, dedicating most of the next few years teaching the new airbenders, in addition to his children.

That was what her rational mind told her. But it was quickly dismissed and her heart, the organ she wanted to forget, had clawed its way back into life and made her feel jealous and powerless.

She had no place in his life anymore. She had forfeited that right several years ago. Actually, he had dumped her, after fifteen years of life together, but she had to admit that she had had a hand in the state of their relationship in the last months. They had both been both miserable in the end.

And now, it was as if he was truly alive again. He had seemed happier with Pema and his children than with her. Yet there was still something off about him. The rare time she would see him in passing, he was straight as a rod, as if he still had to fight against the burden on his shoulder. Even if she had not talked to him much before Avatar Korra came to live in Republic City and make a mess of it, she could still see behind his happy façade. But the apparition of the airbenders was a blessing for him. He came back to life alongside the Nation he was destined to lead.

She had been confused when she began hearing cases of people airbending by accident across the city. When she went to the Air Temple Island and saw that Bumi had also been airbending in front of the whole family, she could imagine how shocked Tenzin had been. As Avatar Korra explained to her and Tenzin that she may have caused with the Harmonic Convergence, she saw the emotions on Tenzin's face. Confusion, surprise, gratefulness and respect, and then finally, joy, pure joy.

She on the other hand, had a different set of feelings. Of course she had been happy, she repeated to herself. Having been practically the Avatar's niece and the girlfriend of the second Airbender in a hundred years, she understood the impact this would have on the world.

And yet, she could not help but feel betrayed, sad and jealous.

Betrayed, because she was still thinking that if Avatar Korra had managed to bring back the Air Nation, then Aang could also have done the same. But she knew it was irrational to think that, it was Aang's greatest wish and he would have done everything he could if he knew it were possible. Besides, if the young woman was right, then the Harmonic Convergence was the reason behind all this.

And still, she was sad. This event itself did not come too late, but it could have also happened much earlier, at Aang's time, or at least when she had still been with Tenzin.

And therefore she was jealous of Pema. She would never admit it, but a part of her had always been jealous of Tenzin's wife since he broke up with her for the younger girl. Pema had accepted the role of a childbearer, she was passionate about the Air Nation culture and bore with Tenzin's irritating way of dodging any confrontation. At least, the girl - no, woman now - had more patience than her.

But all this boiled done to one thing: she could have stayed with Tenzin. If this had happened 10 years ago, then Tenzin would not have felt so obligated to have airbending children. He would have stayed with her if he wanted to. They would have been happier, with the pressure of being the hope of the Air Nation removed. And at one point, the Air Acolyte would have been less useful, and Tenzin would not even have batted an eye at Pema.

Worst of all, she still felt hopeful even if she was trying as much as possible to crush this hidden feeling in her. It was impossible, but what if Tenzin decided to leave Pema to come back to her ? She would make him suffer a bit and show him a taste of how much their separation pained her. But at the end of the day, she knew she would welcome him in her arms again. No matter how long they split up, how many children he had and how pitiful she would look, she would take him back.

This was but a foolish dream.

Tenzin had too much honor to do that to Pema, now that they were married and with children. Her heart was longing for him, but her brain saw it as it was: it would be the worst thing that could happen to them. She did not care what the others would say of them, but she knew it would crush Tenzin. She could not do that to Tenzin and his family. She had even grown fond of his children, they were quite smart, competent airbenders and they would be good leaders of the Air Nation in the future. She could not rob Tenzin from this happiness.

Lin had finished her last dumpling without realizing it. She saw that she had also forgotten her tea, and the water was already cooling. Raising from her chair, she went slowly to the kitchen.

She had kept quiet for so long and assured him that she was over him. And she had concealed the jealous sadness that had continuously grown at seeing the rebirth of the Air Nation. She would keep doing the same, for both his family's and her sake.

Instead, as Lin filled her cup with now lukewarm tea**,** she also tried to fill her heart with a new conviction. The next time she saw him, she would congratulate him and wish him the best of luck for his search of the future airbenders.

It was his destiny to lead them. It was her chosen path to lead the Republic City Police Force. What her heart was saying was no longer relevant.


End file.
